Friday, February 1, 2013

february first thoughts

i've always loved february, just the word itself seems dreamy. today Ean and i welcomed it with wide open arms. we did a couple errands on foot, which is super nice when it's beautiful outside. i packed a blanket and some of his favorite little toys, then we found ourselves talking about dogs and how what we were laying on was grass. (i did most the talking, he did chime in with some grunting.)

i sat there for well over 45 minutes in awe that i actually have a little baby. a little baby boy. this time last year it had just sank in that i was having a baby. i was no longer living my life and doing what i was doing for myself but for Ean. 

i had always heard other moms and dads say how hard it would be. how little sleep i would get and how exhausting it would be, the crying and neediness would get so old so fast. sure i've slept a little less and at the end of the day when i put that swaddled baby down to sleep for the night, i could just fall asleep myself. but i never once heard how amazing and rewarding it was going to be or how i could get so emotional over a giggle and a gummy smile.

so as i laid on the grass today at the park with my own little baby and his little canvas shoes, a soon to be mama walked by. i thought about my own self a year ago and what i would have wanted to hear. that every moment is truly a rush. i wouldn't tell her 'how hard it would be' or how messy your house would become, but rather how when that sweet little baby looks at you, nothing in the world can compare.

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